Feeling Life

I could feel that the energy had stopped.  There was a silence in the background, where there should have been the hum, the sound of things going on, happening.  It sounded too quiet and made me afraid. I knew something had gone wrong.

There was no way to really explain it.  Trying to made me sound like a fearful person. full of anxious thoughts and common place worries.  Listening to my words, even I grew suspicious.   As I lay in meditation, I asked to be shown what I needed to see.  I was proud of myself for remembering not to ask Why? in that plaintive, slightly desperate tone that I usually default to.  There as no voice in my head.  There was just me waking up with the feeling that I had been missing for goodness knows how long:  gratitude.

Learning to Stuff

Some of my earliest memories are of eating compulsively, not that I would have known to call it that at the time.  The first food I remember bingeing was saltine crackers.  The width of the cracker perfectly matched my mouth & could be slide in onto the top of my tongue.  At that time, saltines came wrapped in waxed paper and when a sleeve was finished, there were lovely crumbs and salt at the bottom.  I would make a kind of funnel of the waxed paper sleeve and pour the crumbs into my mouth.  This made me extremely happy.  But though I remember saltines as my start into disordered eating, sugar has really been my truest love.  Our kitchen was typically stocked with the name brand snacks of the time:  Kool-Aid, Chips Ahoy, Oreos.  All of which went perfectly with the popular TV shows of the time, of which Gilligan's Island was my especial favorite.   Later on, I would get much more creative with getting my sweet fix.

The Farm

When I was about 8 years old, we moved from our house in the city of Molalla to a huge old farm on the outskirts of town.  My Mom was not happy about the move.  In fact, I remember her crawling into bed with me on the last night in our old house and sobbing hysterically.  This was all my Dad's plan.  The new house and farm was a fantastical playground in the daytime and a nightmare at night.  It was over 100 years old when we moved into it and had the look of a horror movie set, complete with gothic arched windows and an on-site graveyard.  I remember thinking as we turned down the long driveway and I got a look at the facade of the house, "I"ll never sleep again." And so I was introduced to the place where I would spend the rest of my childhood.
The house and outbuildings had lacked regular maintenance for some time, so my parents had their work cut out for them.  The house needed extensive updating.  This was the kind of thing that my Dad enjoyed tremendously; my Mom, not so much.  My Dad tried to press my brother, Keith and I into service whenever he could get a hold of us.  We kept pretty busy exploring the barn and fields and I suspect we were too young to be very useful to him.  I remember having to sweep the wood floors after they had been sanded in preparation for refinishing.  There was the sharp smell of sawdust and hazy air everywhere.  Perhaps Keith had to do more than I did, as that was certainly the case later on.

Growing Up with Animals

Growing up I think I loved animals more than people.  Around age 4 I became completely obsessed with cats. I felt it was significant that word "kat" was part of my name.  The spelling didn't bother me a bit.  I tore pictures of cats out of magazines and made books out of them.  My favorite book was called "Captain Kitty" and I had to hear it read to me every night.  I can't remember too much about any actual cats we had but at one point one of them did have a litter of kittens.  The first cat I remember by name was called Gin-Gin and I believe that she moved with us from town out to the farm.  She was all black and somewhat stand-offish as I remember, which is possibly due to my over enthusiasm for her species.  I was fond of picking cats up and hugging them close to my neck.  Once I got ringworm on my neck, which was blamed on the cats.  I was ordered to leave them alone but apparently paid little heed, as I remember my Dad opening the upstairs window, where he had been taking a bath, and screaming out at me, "Stay away from the god damn cats!"   This would not be the last time that my love for animals would irritate and confound my Dad!  

I'm a bit obsessed with book lists as I have a poor memory for things we have read over the years. So this page is mostly for me to keep track of books we have enjoyed reading or listening to aloud as well as books we plan to read someday. Selections will be biased towards the interests of my very particular son, so if you have rainbow & unicorn loving girl, you might be disappointed.

George's Secret Key to the Universe & George's Cosmic Treasure Hunt - Stephen & Lucy Hawking
The Invention of Hugo Cabret - Brian Selznick
The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien
The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
Because of Winn Dixie - Kate DiCamille
Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing - Judy Blume
Frindle - Andrew Clements
Hoot - Carl Hiaasen
Wrinkle in Time - Madeleine L'Engle
Coraline - Neil Gaiman
Matilda, Witches, BFG & Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

Series:
Little House on the Prairie - Laura Ingalls Wilder (esp. nice on CD being read by Cherry Jones; she sings the songs & Paul Woodiel plays Pa's fiddle music)
Harry Potter - J.K. Rowling (a later read for us due to death of parents & other disturbing stuff but good CD recording by Jim Dale)
The Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket (CD recording by the sublime Tim Curry; must appreciate dark, dry humor)
The Navigator Trilogy - Eoin McNamee
The Mysterious Benedict Society - Trenton Lee Stewart
The Narnia Chronicles - C.S. Lewis (nice CD recording read by Michael York)
The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place - Maryrose Wood
Ramona, Henry & Beezus books - Beverly Cleary
Diary of a Wimpy Kid - Jeff Kinney
Sarah Books by Ester & Jerry Hicks - Law of Attraction for kids
Joey Pigza & Jack Henry books - Jack Gantos (The author reads The Joey Pigza series on CD)
Sideways School books - Louis Sachar
The Magic Tree House - Mary Pope Osborne (the writing is so-so but good for younger kids & as early readers)
The Time & Space of Uncle Albert - Russell Stannard
Tales of Magic - Edward Eager
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

The Olympians and The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan

The 39 Clues - Rick Riordan

The Secret Series - Pseudonymous Bosch

Jedi Apprentice and Jedi Quest - Jude Watson

Parenting & Homeschooling Books:
The Daily Groove - Scott Noelle
Continuum Concept - Jean Leidloff
And The Children Played
Magical Child - Joseph Chilton Pearce
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves - Naomi Aldort
How Children Learn and How Children Fail - John Holt
Doing It Their Way, Bound to Be Free and Without Boundaries - Jan Fortune Wood
Hold Onto Your Kids - Gordon Neufeld
Playful Parenting - Lawrence Cohen

So...here we are!

Our epic journey is almost to a close: Beaverton to Sedona. It took me months to get my mind wrapped around the idea of leaving Oregon and all our friends and family there, as well as the reality of packing up a house we had lived in for 12 years, crammed full of stuff, and hauling it, one child, two cats and two dogs, one of which is very old & infirm, some 1,300 miles away.
There have been so many huge hurdles to this thing, some physical and some emotional. First getting the Ludwig Street house ready to sell. Massive de-cluttering was required and then a daunting to-do list put together by our real estate agent and Mr. Athy. Then the excitement of having to keep a house staged and ready to show at all times. And then the packing and loading, the Inner Circle of Hell if ever there was one.

The drive went really well for everyone. I had to resort to caffeine to keep alert by the afternoon of the second day. That So Cal traffic was intense. After that, the only concern was finding places to stop in the desert. Apparently there are still towns in America that don't have a Starbucks. Humpf. But we could smell home on the third day so that kept us going. The cats were troopers and didn't seem to resent me having put them in their crates, they were just pleased that I let them out. Hobbes yowled a bit at times but seems to have recovered his good nature. Jack & I had Harry Potter to pass the time and the two-way radios were indispensable for Dale & I.

We got here Wed. night (waking up to a stunning view from the motel, my first look at Sedona which I texted to some of you), sign the closing paperwork Thursday, got the keys to our house Friday, and had our trailer delivered Saturday. The timing on everything was freakishly flawless! We really missed our fab packing & loading crew (you know who you are!) during the unloading process. Unloading is gobs easier than loading, but then that isn't really saying much. We just slowly worked at it over the weekend & Monday, finally getting it down to one last item, which turned out to be the piano. Just as we had it poised above the ramp, discussing constructing a pulley system or something, the telecom guy showed up to work on our installation. He took one look at us, said "OK let's do this thing.", hopped up on the ramp and he and Dale managed to get it down in one piece. Now the house is a sea of cardboard but we are slowly getting things unpacked and organized. Dale has already gotten the gazebo and Jack's trampoline assembled. Our house is such a great fit for us, very cozy and homey. The neighborhood is amazing with great views, very quiet & walkable and yet close to all the stores we need. Everyone has been very friendly. Our neighbors to one side are named Jones, which is the same last name as our old neighbors. They brought us over cookies. The neighbors on the other side totally remind me of Jerry Seinfeld's parents. The guy apparently has been taking care of the lawn for a while for the previous owner and he has come over several times to give Dale advice on the things, prefacing all comments with "It's none of my business. You can do what you want." It's hard for me to keep a straight face!

It's hard to even describe how beautiful Sedona is. There are startling views around every corner, amazing birds & wildlife and great stargazing even from our backyard. I am totally impressed with the town so far. There is small town friendliness & relaxed pace without the nosiness or parochial attitude you often find.

I wish we could construct a portal so you all could come hang out with us!